[poem] falling for a friend

“Falling For A Friend“

You are always there when I needed you
You are always there when I feel so blue
You are always there when I need comfort
You are always there when I need a friend

I thought we would be just friends
But as day goes by I felt different
I saw you in another view
That I can never live without you

My heart calls you everyday
I can’t eat and sleep day after day
This feeling I feel for you
A feeling I never felt before

I think of you everyday
In the morning till the sky becomes dark
I longed for you in many ways
I craved for you many times before

I can’t hide it anymore
I need to tell you now
“I Love You” please understand
“I love you from the bottom of my heart”

I was shocked to here the lines you said
“I love you too…” is this for real?
You said it’s true that you love me too
I’m so glad you felt the same way I do

I’m so glad I told you
This feeling I feel for you
I never expected this before
That I am falling for a friend

©leo.banares

[poem] broken heart

“Broken Heart“

It’s hard to let go of someone
Someone whom you loved before
Before you chose to love another
Another woman just like her

It’s hard to leave her side
Her side where you hide
You hide from your fears
Your fears that let all fall like your tears

You are by her side
By her side where you are secured
Secured from any danger
Danger built from anger

You tell her you love her
Your love for her is true
For her it’s just a joke
A joke which make you choke

She laughs at you
You who are so dumb to say
To say I love you to her
To her which made you tear

You suddenly feel calm
But also felt nervous
You wish that she would tell
Those lines that you are wishing to hear

But sadly she turned away
And stared to part
With this she left a letter
In this letter she wrote:

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you
that I found the one I love
for he was true to me
and cared for me as much

I wish that we could be friends
Although we are apart
I wish you would forgive me
Because I don’t want to break your heart”.

©leo.banares

[poem] bakit ba?

“Bakit Ba?“

bakit ba ganito?
lahat nalang ng ginagawa ko,
lahat ng sinasabi ko,
wala lang sa’yo.

bakit ba ganito?
puso ko’y sugat ang natamo.
inamin ko lang naman sa’yo.
na ikaw ang isinisigaw ng puso ko.

umiiyak na naman ako.
alam ko iniisip mo,
na ako’y isang mahinang tao,
na walang ginawa kundi umiyak para sa’yo.

mahal kita, oo inaamin ko.
ndi ko makaya na mawala ka sa piling ko.
sa’yo umiikot ang mundo ko,
lahat ng ginagawa ko para sa’yo.

bakit ba ganito?
ang tanga-tanga ko pagdating sa’yo?
kahit sabihin ko ang totoo,
ayaw mo parin sa isang tulad ko.

mahal kita ng buong-buo.
hindi ako nakikipaglaro sa’yo.
mahal kita, seryoso ako.
kaya lahat gagawin ko, mamatay man ako.

©leo.banares

[poem] sampung taludtod ng sakit at hinagpis

“Sampung Taludtod ng Sakit at Hinagpis”

nakatitig sa kalawakan,
nakatingin sa kawalan.
iniisip ang kasagutan,
kung bakit ka ganyan.

ilang araw na ako ganito,
wala sa sarili at parang nalilito.
ninanais na ang puso’y huminto,
at malaman mo ito.

mahal kita,
ikaw lang talaga.
ngunit bakit sadyang masama,
ang pagtrato ng pag-ibig sa tuwina.

ilang araw na umiiyak,
nakatingin sa kawalan.
ilang araw na umaasang,
ika’y aking mahahagkan.

isang saglit,
buhay ay nawala.
puso’y tumigil,
sa pagmamahal at pagtibok.

dugo’y bumabalot,
sa ginamit na panugat.
sa mga munting pulso,
sa aking mga kamay.

ito sana’y malaman mo,
dahilan nito’y sa’yo.
sa pagmamahal na ibinuhos ko,
na sinayang at binalewala mo.

sadya bang ganito?
pag-ibig ay maloko?
mag mahal ka’t masaktan,
tatalikuran ka’t iiwan?

minahal kita ng buong-buo,
ngunit ito’y binalewala mo.
nagalay ng buhay para sa’yo,
para mapansin mo lang ako.

lahat ay ginawa ko,
para lang ako’y mapansin mo.
pagmamahal ko’y totoo,
ngunit ito’y sinayang mo.

©leo.banares

[poem] frail anxieties

“Frail Anxieties”

I see myself–

–sitting in front of this melancholy.

Shedding every bittersweet memory,
memories I spent with you.

Tears fall from my red-bitten eyes,
remembering your sweet emotionless smile.

I wanted to bask,
in the warmth of your smile, again.
hold you,
hug you.

these pathetic words,
writing itself on the walls of my futile mind.
Peircing through my frail anxieties.

I fall,
I hurt myself.
I die in your majesty.

You smile in my misery.
You laugh in my sadness.

.sitting, floating in front of this fierce melancholy–

–I see myself, still longing, to hold you again.

©leo.banares

[poem] taong nakatago

“taong nakatago”

Mga patak ng dugo sa aking noo.
Tumutulo, tumutulo.
Patungo sa aking mga labi.
Nalalasahan ko ang mala-kalawang na dala nitong lasa.
Patuloy ako…
Patuloy sa pagsikap..
Pagsikap umunlad, makaahon.
Nakagapos, nakagapos.
Sa aking loob ang isang taong naghihirap, nagtitimpi.
Ilang beses na ninais makalaya sa korapsyon,
Paghihirap, pang-aalipusta, ng aking pagiisip, ng aking mga problema.
Paulit-ulit nalang…
Nakakatakas, nahuhuli, ginagapos.
Nakakatakas, nahuhuli, ginagapos.
Hanggang sa mapagod, magsawa.
Ilang beses niyang sinubukang lumaban.
Patuloy ang pagsikap, patuloy ang panalangin.
Ninanais, pinapangarap.
Na sana, bukas…
Siya ay makalaya na.

©leo.banares

[song] papercup chandeliers

“Papercup Chandeliers“
leo.bañares

i’m sitting in the corner
in this blackout hour.
trying to write,
this simple song for you.

lit by a candle,
i watched as the wax slide down.
and everytime i think of you,
the faster the candle burns.

you shine your light on me,
through these papercup chandeliers.
i see your reflection,
through these painted mysteries.
and why do you hide from me,
when i knew all along.
that these papercup chandeliers,
just hide what you really feel.

i wanna look into your eyes,
i wanna see the truth that lies.
i wanna hear your voice,
i wanna hear the words i longed for.

i guess i am wrong,
i am just a worthless dreamer.

i guess you’re too good for me,
but still i want you to hear me say that…

you shine your light on me,
through these papercup chandeliers.
i see your reflection,
through these painted mysteries.
and why do you hide from me,
when i knew all along.
that these papercup chandeliers,
just hide what you really feel.

oh…

no i never thought that you could be mine.
no i never dreamed of myself with you.
no i never even knew if this is true.
i guess there are many things to say like…

you shine your light on me,
through these papercup chandeliers.
i see your reflection,
through these painted mysteries.
and why do you hide from me,
when i knew all along.
that these papercup chandeliers,
just hide what you really feel.

[poem] Isang Patak ng Bagong Pag-asa

“Isang Patak ng Bagong Pag-asa“

Nakaupo sa aking asul na sahig
Nakatingala, nakatitig sa kawalan
Sinusungkit ang mga talang tila mga basag na salaaming nasa langit.

Sinusubukang abutin,
Ninanais kunin,
Sinusungkit, inaasam, inaabot.

Nakaupo, nakatingala,
Mga kamay tila ginapos sa hirap ng buhay,
Mga mata’y napuno ng luhang kay bigat.

Sumigaw, sumisigaw, sisigaw.
Unti-unting tumulo, pumapatak,
Tila mga basag na boteng nagwawasiwas at nagsasayaw sa hangin.

Aking ibinuka,
Mga manhid na kamay,
At tila isang bata.
Kinuha, inasam, hinimas.

Isang patak,
Isang butil ng bubog,
Sinasalamin ang ating pagkatao,
Isang bagong pag-asa.

©leo.banares

[poem] she stood upon her windowsill

“She Stood Upon Her Windowsill”

She woke up in the middle of the night,
Sat up upon her magenta colored bed, looking at images of nothingness in her bedside table.
She rubbed her eyes, and looked around, looking at the hands of time.

A gush of wind threw her back,
And paralyzes her sanity, groping her morality, seeping through her blood veins.

She heard the sound of a violin playing,
Her blackened eyes looked at the night sky with a fierce immortal look.

Her soul encapsulates the beauty of a fallen angel, seeking freedom from hungry minds.
She stood upon her windowsill, silently, tip-toeing to reach the heavens.
The rhythm of the sounding violin mixes with the reckless parody of “Maria, Maria”
The torment of her anxiety shifts from one side to another.

Slowly a hand wrapped around her, pulling her from the windowsill,
And danced her into a never-ending night.
Her jounce to the beat of the music, make her go astray.
And she shakes her hips to the melody of it.

The clock struck twelve; the moon blinded her eyes, and brought her sanity back.
She wrapped her arms around herself, and slowly faded away.

She woke-up in the middle of the night,
Sat upon her turquoise colored bed,
Her arms wrapped around herself, looking at the blue colored silhouettes.

She looked out her windowsill, stood upon it silently,
She saw a playground across her place, and decided to renew her childhood memories.

She leaped from her 19th floor apartment,
And landed, foot-flat on the scorching asphalt.
She walked as if her feet were ice, not feeling any of the heat’s radiation.

She walked toward the ink covered playground,
And saw writings on every single angle.
“Danced into a rhythm of an endless samba…”
“Fleeting away with the twists and turns of cha-cha …”

She walked and did not mind the writings,
Until she saw a horrific scene, fading into a blaze of black light.

She clung unto herself, and watched the orchestral imagery in front of her.
Her eyes, blinded by the immorality of night, blocked her view from the insolent posse.
She saw a figure of a boy, standing still at the center of the playground,
Soul-less, mind-less, strings attached to his arms, and she looked up,
Slowly, seeing the hands of the one manipulating him.

She ran as fast as she can, not minding the malevolent eyes that watched her.
She tripped, and fell, but she got up again, and continued running…

His impaled eyes looked at her; he smiled at her and his head bowed down again…
She ran to him…
And ran, as fast as she could…

©leo.banares

[note: this is connected to "He Stood..."] 

[poem] He Stood Silently on Top of His Graffiti Playground

“He Stood Silently on Top of His Graffiti Playground”

Autumn afternoon, the crimson painted sky covered the burnt asphalt.
Cold steel, paint-chipped metal bars.
He stood there, looking at every inch of this place.

Symphonies of broken glass, pierces through his cold, trembling mind.
As these guitar strings strum an endless melody of horror and insomnia.
The canvas of white, turned into a dark, gray, illusion.
Pieces of words flying everywhere he went.

Stuck inside this freak-show of orchestral misery.
He stood in silence amongst the magnitude of hungry eyes.

Eyes that long for entertainment, laughing in the agony of others.
He swore to himself that no tears shall fall from his impaled eyes.
His hands start to move as if a string had been tied onto him.

His master puppeteer played with him.
Moving every inch of his body into a rhythm of fierce discourse.
He watched as his surrounding became like a kaleidoscope,
He danced into a rhythm of an endless samba,
Fleeting away with the twists and turns of cha-cha.

His words played with the burnt asphalt,
Emitting silhouettes of broken ensemble dancing in tremendous anxiety.

He stood silently in his graffiti playground.
Looking at the horizon of endless hymns.

His ecstatic mind creates paintings of weird fantasy.
Turning every bit of sweet misery into reluctant melancholy.

Her memories of grief and anxiety turned him into a barren sinister.
His greed for love turned him into a wasted piece of soul,
Wandering into the dark abyss of this playground.
His hands are still tied by the strings of fate-

– The strings from the hands of his master puppeteer.

He stood still in his graffiti playground,
As words try to break the strings of his imprisonment.

He struggled to free himself from the strings that encapsulate his soul.
The strings that hold him and make him do things he did not even want to do.

He wanted her to see the smile on his face.
That tears will never fall from his eyes.

She came running to him, telling him it is okay to cry.
She hugged him, and let her love for him radiate, breaking the strings; freeing him.
She cried on his shoulders, staining his white top with her black mascara.
She held on to him…

And little by little,
He never again stood silently on top of his graffiti playground.

©leo.banares

[note: connected to "She Stood..."] 

[poem] He made us whole

“He Made Us Whole“

In the beginning we were nothing
Just a floating mist in-
Maybe outside
This world…

It was He,
Who clothed us, loved us
With the most exquisite care,
And made us who we are to be…

Here we are,
Scattered…
Destructive…
In this reality He created…

His anxiety…
His grief…
He shed His tears…
In our reality…

Slowly, we broke apart…
Came back to where we started…
As a mist in-
Maybe outside- this world…

For once we lived…
Because He made us whole

©leo.banares

[poem] death

“death”

Sitting,
Embraced by your sweet misery
Staring blankly in this dark abyssal stars
Captured by your melancholic anxiety

I grieved
I cried
Counting nothingness
Turning back from time

Sweet kiss,
From your poisonous lips
Looking at your star-bitten eyes

I stared-

-I searched for the light that was once in those eyes-

– That captured me.

Blank, dark, marbled eyes
Softened, cold-bitten hearts-

-I wanted to bring you back–

–Back into reality

One last kiss from your poisonous lips
Soft, sweet misery, still embracing me

I stared at you,
Little by little,
Turning in to dust

©leo.banares

[poem] still

“Still“

goodbye-

-my love…
for years i felt the same,
trying my best to hide it.
but i can’t help it-

-i need to admit,
what i really feel for you.
so i gathered all my strength,
and approached you–

–i blurted out words,
that seemed to have no meaning.
empty as i speak,
silent as i screamed.

you disregarded,
my existence.
what i felt for you,
you didn’t care.
my confession,
you overlooked—
–and forgot,
what i truly felt-

–towards you…

i tried to forget you,
did everything i could.
but still you remain–

–you remain,
like these bruises-

-these bruises,
that you left—

–when you went away…

-these bruises,
that wont be easily erased–

–by time…

©leo.banares

[poem] a stick of cigarette

“A Stick of Cigarette“

i stand under a lamp post,
waiting for you to show up.
wearing this old, worn-out jacket,
trying to fight the breeze.

the freezing breeze,
that pierces through this jacket.
holding,
flicking,
a stick of cigarette.

i kept waiting,
wishing,
that a silhouette of you,
will be seen.
i played with the flame,
from my lighter,
started by butane.

i lit this stick of cigaette-

-and puffed smoke all around.

like fog,
resting on the humid air.
i waited for you,
and waited…
and waited…

i finished the stick,
and threw it away.
and still i waited,
for you to show up.
holding,
flicking,
another stick of cigarette.

©leo.banares

[poem] life

“Life”

Life,
Does it exist?
This world we live in,
Is it just an illusion we make?

Questions lingering,
In curious minds-

–that search for answers,
That thirst for truth.

Can we really feel,
Taste,
Smell?

Do we really exist?
Do these shells of skin we have,
Contain who we really are?

Young minds,
still in search of answers.

Life,
Does it exist?
This world we live in,
Is it just an illusion we make?

©leo.banares