“Handcuffed Memories“

©leo.banares

 

Sitting…

Staring blankly at the paint-chipped walls…

I kept silent…
Tormented by the memories,
Scared, manipulated.

I ran away,
Went to a park…

And once again,
I found myself…

Sitting…
Staring blankly in a cracked pavement…

Memories…
Memories I rather not remember…

I force myself to forget…
I force myself…

Leaving traces of broken glass,
Wandering,
Going nowhere…

Memories of You and me,
Memories I want to forget,
Memories I want to erase…

I still remember the day,
I first met You…

First I didn’t believe Your existence…

I thought to myself,
“Who are You?”
“Why did You die for me?”

I was blinded by my memories,
These memories that made me hate You…

Dislike You…

After years of searching who I really was…

I saw You…
Talked to You…
Gave my heart to You…
You’re the only one who listened to me…

You comforted me,
You made me feel stronger,
And now I believe You…

You died for me…

A stupid worthless, human being…
Your life is not worth it…
You could’ve just let me be imprisoned….

But You set me free…
Free from the lies of reality…
Free from these memories…
These handcuffed memories I wanted to erase…

I lied to You,
I pretended I didn’t see the suffering You did for me…
But still, You loved me…

You’re my savior,
My companion,
My brother,
My friend…

I tried to change…
I tried to go on…
I tried to live on…